A new beginning
by skinbyrd
Summary: Lex and Clark are best friends turned enemies, what happenes when one of the cant hide their undying love for the other any longer? :
1. Chapter 1

CHAPTER 1:

The storm outside the big pane glass windows seemed to battle with the stone mansion, as Lex could hear the old house creaking and moaning. He stood, watching as the wind bent the trees and bushes in the woods that lead to his humble abode. He imagined the wind blowing straight through the glass, and knocking him onto the ground. The shards of glass would have been beautiful in the glistening chimney fire. As his morbid thoughts played the scenario over and over in his head, he heard a light set of footstep approaching his study doors. He knew those footsteps could only belong to one person. His stomach coiled at the thought of him. He didn't turn around as his study doors swung opened half hazardless. Instead, he waited for the newcomer to speak before he would say a word.

"Lex…we need to talk." Lex almost let out a chuckle, but he expertly controlled himself. It always struck him that the first 4 words that Clark would say to him now were 'We need to talk.' He missed the days when he would come just to see Lex, and to have a good time. Those days were long gone. Lex sighed heavily as he slowly turned on his heels. He looked straight into Clark's face and suddenly felt sadder than before. Clark himself had changed dramatically. He looked much older than the goofy little farm boy that Lex had met almost five years back, and his eyes had become cold towards Lex. They used to sparkle Blue and Green, and now they stayed dull and dark.

"What did I do wrong now, according to Clark?" He watched as Clark's scowl grew more defined, which made him miss the times when Clark would smile. Clark walked closer to Lex, but as always he kept his distance now, as if Lex had some kind of infectious disease.

"Where are Chloe's files? I know it was you." Lex sighed heavily and leaned against his desk. Once again Clark was asking him about something that he had no control over. Lex had many people that worked for him that went rogue and tried to start their own operations under the false pretenses that Lex had sent them. Clark still didn't understand this, and believed that Lex was behind every evil deed.

"I can assure you, I have no idea what you're talking about." He said these words without any real emotion behind them. He mostly said them out of habit now, as he knew Clark was never going to believe him anyway. He watched as Clark gave him the, know- it -all smirk, and moved one more step forward.

"Just tell me the truth Lex,." Lex looked straight into Clark's eyes, and suddenly could feel anger flaring up inside of him. He wished that at that moment he could just grab Clark by the neck and strangle him to death, but he knew it would be impossible. Clark's powers would obviously prevent that from happening. Lex had known about Clark's powers for almost two years now, and he guarded the secret with his life. He had found out after he followed Clark into the caves, ad secretly watched from a far as he spoke to his alien father, Jor-El. Lex never told Clark that he knew the truth because he knew Clark would just view him as an enemy even more instead of someone that was genuinely trying to protect him.

"You want to know the truth Clark….is that it? Is that what you want?! THE THRUTH!!!?" Lex could feel his anger getting the best of him, and he was slowly losing control. "YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THE FUCKING TRUTH IS CLARK! No idea how much I stand up for you!!! HOW MUCH I PROTECT YOU!!! And you just barge in here whenever you want demanding information that I don't FUCKING HAVE!!!!!..." ,he took a few deep breaths trying to calm himself, "God Clark…if only you knew what I've had to put up with for the last two damn years…but you'll never know…now, GET THE FUCK OUT!!!!." Lex could feel his entire body trembling. He watched as Clark stared at him with confusion and anger, but he didn't care. All Lex wanted was to be rid of the torture of seeing the boy he had fallen in love with 5 years ago completely hate him. He closed his eyes and turned away from Clark as it physically made him sick to stare him in the face.

"I'm not leaving. Not until you tell me what is going on." Lex tried to hold himself together, but he was losing his grip slowly but surely. God, why wouldn't Clark just leave, and let him wallow in his own misery and self pity. Those were two things Lex was always amazing at. But of course Clark was being the man that he was. He always felt like he had to somehow save everyone; even low lives like Lex Luthor.

"Clark, there are just some things that are better left unsaid." Lex could feel his walls crumbling to the ground. He knew he had to get out of there right then or he was going to be more exposed than he had been his entire life. Without saying another word to Clark, he walked passed him quickly, and up the stairs.

"Lex!" He didn't stop. He just kept on walking until he was in the safety of his own room. He could hear Clark's footsteps coming up the landing and he groaned loudly. He sunk to the ground with his back against his door, and buried his face in his hands. "Lex, Open the door!" He knew that Clark would never use his powers to force himself into Lex's room, in fear that Lex would see something. That comforted Lex enough that he was able to calm down, and slowly pull himself back together.

"Clark, please just go…I don't know anything about Chloe's files. I know you don't believe me, but I honestly don't care anymore. Believe what you will…just leave me alone." His voice became softer and broke on his last few words. He knew he sounded pathetic, but he just couldn't bring himself to put up that façade of the strongest man in the universe.

"Lex…I – I'm sorry." Lex was completely taken aback by Clark's apology. What in the hell did he have to apologize for?! Why was he apologizing now!? Lex stood up from the ground and stared at the door. He knew Clark was still on the other side, but he just couldn't bring himself to open the lock. A few moments more, and Lex could make out the distinct sound of Clark walking down the stairs, and making his way outside of the study. Lex let out a deep breath he hadn't realized he was holding, and along with came a string of tears and sobs. He tried to wipe away at the tears, but they were falling so quickly and so furiously his efforts went unnoticed.


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER 2:

When Lex opened his eyes he was surprised to see the brightness of the rising sun shining through his window panes. He squinted and cursed under his breath as the light stung his dilated pupils. He sat up from his place on the ground feeling slightly disoriented. For a moment he couldn't remember how he had ended up falling asleep on the carpet in his room until he tasted the salt on his lips that he knew belonged to his dried up tears. He stood up from the ground and made his way to the bathroom. He trudged in, feeling his entire body drained of energy. Just as he grabbed his tooth brush and the mouth wash, his pants began to vibrate. He quickly scoured through his pants pocket until he took out the vibrating object. He flipped it open and hoarsely spoke to the offending caller.

"This better be important." He cleared his throat loudly, trying to get rid of the sourness his crying jag had left him.

"Lex…it's me…" Lex took in a deep breath at the sound of Clark's voice. He could feel all the blood in his body run cold.

"What do you want Clark?" He tried to make his voice sound strong and confident, but even to his own ears he could tell he was faltering.

"Come to the Farm. We need to talk." Lex could feel his anger boiling to the breaking point, but he expertly kept himself in check. All he wanted at that moment was to never hear or see Clark ever again. He was positive that if he could manage at least that much then he might be able to live a semi normal life, but Clark was unwavering. He knew that boy would keep showing up until he felt like the situation was taken care of. There was no way out.

"I can't possibly fathom what more there is to talk about, but…I'll be there." There was a long silence on the other end of the line, until finally Lex heard the click of Clark's phone. He stood frozen with the phone to his ear, trying to make sense of everything. The thought of going to the farm and facing Clark once again was enough to make him feel like his entire body was made of some kind of dysfunctional jelly. He could not for the life of him understand why Clark didn't sever all ties with him and leave their "relationship" a thing of the past. It was rather clear to him that if Clark wasn't the one to do it, he would never have the will to do it himself. No matter how much it tortured him he knew he could never live without Clark in his life, one way or the other. So, without another seconds hesitation Lex quickly went through his morning routine, trying as hard as he possibly could to numb all the emotions that had stirred up.


	3. Chapter 3

**I've decided to give this story another shot. I really liked where it was going, and I've been inspired once again….so please keep reading, I PROMISE!! I will finish it this time********!!!!!**

CHAPTER: 3

Lex gripped the steering wheel until his knuckles became white with the pressure. It had taken all the will power he had left just to get in the car, and to convince himself that he needed to do this. He knew he was throwing himself in the line of fire, but at this point he didn't care anymore. His heart had literally shattered into a million pieces since the night before, so he figured one more hour with the boy of his dreams would not cause any more damage.

He glanced at the speedometer every few seconds just to make sure he was staying above 90. Clark used to scold him for driving so carelessly, always claiming that one of these days Lex was going to wrap himself around a tree; he hoped that day had finally come. As he got closer and closer to the familiar yet foreboding barn in the distance, he could feel his stomach coil, and his hands become clammy.

"Come on Lex, get a hold of yourself." He took in a few deep breathes to ensure that he would not pass out as soon as he stepped foot onto the farm. He stopped his car abruptly (purposefully giving himself whip lash) right in front of the quaint yellow farm house that he used to think of as his sanctuary. He could feel nostalgia for the good old days taking over, but he aggressively pushed it out of his mind. He could have nothing weakening him in front of Clark, which he knew would be hard enough as it was. With one more quick glance in the rear view mirror just to make sure his face was a mask of nothing, he stepped out of the car, and began his slow trudge towards the barn. As he walked through the familiar ground, memories upon memories began to flood his mind. He looked towards the fence and remembered all the times he had driven up to see Clark, and always found him working on that fence. They always used to have great conversations during those visits, about everything and anything. Most of the time, they centered on Clark's infatuation with Lana, but Lex couldn't have cared less. He was happy enough just to have been in Clarks' life, and someone he confided in. he sighed heavily as he let the memories build and slip away. The breeze that had been stirring through his suit coat as he walked along the farm disappeared as soon as he stepped foot into the gloomy stuffy barn. He froze for a moment at the foot of the steps that would lead him to Clark. At this point he knew he had two choices to make. One would lead him up the steps, to face Clark, and find out exactly where he stands, or the other option would be to leave right at that moment, and never speak to Clark every again. A sharp breath escaped through his lips as he took the first couple of steps up the stairs.

"You can do this." He stiffened up his spine, and made it a point to look as disinterested as possible as he climbed the rest of the way up. He wasn't the least bit surprised to see Clark sitting on the old couch, looking at the floor like it held all the answers to the universe. Lex could feel his chest constrict at the site of him, but he kept himself as calm as possible.

"Did the floor do something to offend you?" His head whipped up from its lowered position and gave Lex a hard look. They both stared at each other in complete silence, for what seemed like forever to Lex. Finally, Clark pulled his eyes away and stood up from the couch. He made no indication that he was going to say anything, so Lex decided to break the silence. "Are we going to stand here like this all night, or are you going to entertain me with one of your famous Clark Kent speeches?" He was surprised at the bitterness in his tone. Lex had been almost positive that all the fight had been drained out of him, but being here with Clark now, seemed to rejuvenate him. He watched as anger flitted through Clark's eyes, but only for a moment. He took a deep breath, and seemed to deflate as he lowered his gaze to the floor again. Lex stared at him curiously waiting for him to start speaking, or screaming, he didn't care at this point which one he did as long as he made some kind of noise. Clark slowly walked over the desk against the wall and picked up a folded piece of paper. Lex watched as Clark fingered the paper in his hands before resigning and walking over to Lex, with the paper outstretched.

"Take it." Lex hesitated for a moment. He stared at the paper is if it were a bomb, but he reluctantly grabbed it. He tried to meet Clark's gaze, but the boy was a pro at avoiding Lex's eyes. He walked back over to the couch and sat down once again. Lex stared back and forth from the letter to Clark. It seemed that their meeting was over, but Lex just couldn't find the strength to turn around and walk away. It had taken him so much will power to actually come see Clark; he couldn't leave. He examined the paper in his hand, and at closer inspection realized that it was extremely crumpled up and worn at the edges. He slowly unfolded it and smoothed it out. The black ink was a bit smudged, but other than that it was legible. He looked over at Clark who was staring at him now with a very serious look. He almost seemed like he wanted to jump up from the couch and grab the letter away from Lex, but he controlled himself, and motioned with a nod that he should read the letter. Lex took in one more deep breath before reading the first few sentences.

_Dear Lex,_

_I have written this letter over and over trying to make it as perfect as possible. I've come to realize that it will never be perfect, and what I really should be focusing on is telling you what has been going through my head since the very beginning of our friendship. Lex, there are a lot of things in my life that are strange and unexplained; only you make it seem like none of it really matters. We have only been friends for a little over a year, but every moment I have spent with you has been a cherished moment for me. When I'm with you, it's like, all my worries fade away. I know this probably sounds like the dumb ramblings of a teenage boy, but all of this means something, and I have just come to realize what that 'something' is. It seems that I am slowly but irrevocably falling in love with you. I know, it's crazy, but I can't help what I'm feeling. When you look at me it's like, I'm the most important person in your world. I love laughing with you and talking with you, and even the moments we just spend in silence, while you're working and I do homework, are completely perfect. I know I can trust you…which is why this is so much harder for me. I have never been able to trust anyone else before, and I'm scared what it means. I feel like I am incredibly close to just spilling my heart out to you, and telling you every secret that have ever kept from you, but I have no idea where to begin. I hope someday I get the courage to finally tell you everything, or maybe even the courage to hand you this letter, but until then I will always love you, and cherish our friendship. I'll always be here Lex. _

_Love,_

_Clark_

Lex stared at the letter in his hand, rereading it over and over again. After everything that had happened between him and Clark, he could not fathom why Clark would give this letter to him now. It almost seemed to Lex like a sick and twisted punishment. He knew he had been the one who had virtually ruined their friendship, he wondered, did it also mean that he had ruined his chance to actually BE with Clark? He clutched the note in his hand, and crushed it in his fist. Clark stood up from the couch abruptly and took a few steps towards Lex.

"Why did you give this to me?" his voice was low and strained as he spoke through clenched teeth. He was trying his hardest to hold back the angry tears that wanted to spill out.

"Because…we have both been suffering. I know we have been through a lot these past couple of years Lex, but I don't want to be angry with you anymore. I want you to be the friend that you once were. The friend that made me feel the way I described in that letter." Lex looked down at the letter once more then dropped it to the ground. His entire body was shaking as he turned on his heels towards the stairs.

"You said in that letter…you said you trusted me enough to tell me all your secrets, but you never did," he paused for a moment as he choked on his last couple of words, "you said you would always be here, but you weren't. The tears now flowed freely, as he tried to say what he needed to say, "You said you loved me…but it's too late. I can never be that same person that you fell in love with Clark. I wish I could…now, I'm the one that's sorry." He could hear Clark's shallow breathing right next to his shoulder. He had not realized that he had gotten so close, making it that much harder for him to just walk away, and never look back.

"Lex, you haven't changed. You still are that same person. I just haven't given you the chance to show me. I've been so caught up in all the bad parts; I've completely lost sight of you." Clark placed his hand on Lex's shoulder, and squeezed gently. "Please, let's start over." Lex could feel his heart pulling him towards Clark. He wanted to turn around and grab Clark in his arms and never let him go, but he knew it would never work. There were too many black spots in their friendship that could never be mended.

"I'm sorry Clark." It came out as barely a whisper, but he knew with Clark's super hearing he would be able to hear. Clarks' hand dropped from his shoulder. He could hear the hitch in Clark's breath which could only mean that he was crying as well. Lex wanted to say something to comfort him, to make it all okay, but there was nothing that could be done. Instead, he bent down and picked up the letter from the ground. He placed it on the banister of the stairs, then proceeded to walk down the stairs, and back to the true reality of his life.

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	4. Chapter 4

**will Lex finally give in???????WHAT's GOING TO HAPPEN!!!!?**

CHAPTER 4:

_(CLARKS POV)_

Clark stayed standing at the top of the steps, staring at the empty space that had once been inhabited by Lex. He had been certain that once Lex had read the letter, he would realize that he and Clark were truly meant to be together. He had written the letter when he was still only a sophomore in high school; even so, everything in it still rang true. No matter how many times he and Lex fought, or had disagreements, he couldn't help but love the man. He had hoped and prayed that eventually all their disputes would be solved, and they would once again become the friends that he so longed to be. Not once did he think the years would scar them so much that it would eventually lead to them being mortal enemies. He used to dream of someday having a life with Lex and being known as his significant other, but all those hopes seemed to be fading away as every passing minute ticked by. He knew he was to blame for many of their falling outs, but he felt that it was time for a change.

He picked up the letter from the banister and gently unwrinkled it. He placed it in his breast pocket, then walked over to the couch and sat back down. He knew what Lex had said was true. Clark had always claimed to trust him, and to rely on him like he could no other, but even so, he still was never able to fully reveal his secrets to Lex. His love for Lex had not given him enough incentive to just tell him the truth, and let the pieces fall where they may. Instead, he let their friendship be clouded by secrets and lies, which eventually suffocated the both of them to the point of no return. Clark rubbed at his face roughly as he tried to make sense of the situation, and find a way to fix the damage that had been caused. He knew it would take a lot of convincing on his part, to make Lex realize that it wasn't too late yet. He still saw his friend in those bleak grey eyes, and he wasn't about to let him slip through his fingers once again. Clark stood up from the couch, and took the letter out of his pocket. He scanned through it one more time, before resolving what needed to be done. He vowed right then and there, that he would get Lex back, if it was the last thing he would ever do.

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(LEX'S POV)

Lex sat at his desk, pretending to read over a heap of files his dad had sent him. He had been working for close to 13 hours straight and he was about ready to pass out. He looked over at the clock and groaned when he realized it was already 11 at night. It had been almost a week since the last time he had spoken to Clark, but in that time, not a moment went by where Lex was not thinking about him. He found himself day dreaming more often, to the point where 2 hours could go by without him even realizing it. He knew it was unhealthy and he should just try to forget about Clark, but after he gave him the letter, it was all Lex could think about. He still could not grasp the fact that Clark had, and might even still, love Lex. He had spent hours replaying the past in his head, trying to find any clues of Clark's so called love for him, but he would always end up drawing a blank. There was no mistaking the fact that Clark was always a caring and attentive friend, but he never did anything out of the ordinary which would lead Lex to believe that he was actually in love with him.

Lex rubbed at his over worked eyes, and slammed the file closed that was lying in front of him. He decided the best way to forget about Clark would be to get as drunk as possible within an hours time. He stood up from his desk and walked over to the trey of alcohol he always kept close by. He poured the sparkling liquid into his favorite crystal glass, then placed it to his lips. Just as he was about to take his first swig, he spotted a moving shadow from the corner of his eye. He jumped, splashing the liquid all over his Armani suite.

"Shit! Who's there?!" Lex waited to see if he could hear any noise that would indicate another person in the room, but he was only met with silence. He closed his eyes as he let out a deep breath. "You're not even drunk yet Lex, save the hallucinations for later," he scolded himself. He placed the glass back down on the table, and reached for the bottle of brandy, but just as his hand was about to clasp around the cool glass, the bottle miraculously disappeared. Lex fell forward onto the trey as his hand went through the air. He quickly became panicked, and knocked over the trey in the process of running to the phone to call security. He grasped the receiver in one shaking hand, but as he reached down to dial the number he was startled once again.

"You can't kick me out yet, I just got here." Lex let out a loud scream and dropped the phone to the ground. He stared at Clark, who was standing so close behind him, there would have been absolutely no way for Lex to have missed him. He placed his hand over his heart, as he tried to get it back down to a steady beat.

"Jesus Christ Clark! You didn't have to scare me like that." Clark smirked a little, but became serious when he saw blood dripping from Lex's hand.

"Lex you're hurt." Lex followed Clark's eyes to his hand, and was slightly surprised to see a huge gash with a piece of glass sticking out of it. Where there was no pain before, suddenly it was burning like crazy. "I'm sorry Lex, that's my fault." Clark walked over to the trey on the ground, and picked up the towel that was there. He walked back to Lex, and tried to take his hand, but Lex pulled away and grabbed the towel away from him.

"It's okay; I can take care of it. You do owe me a new crystal glass though. Super speed should be illegal around such expensive china." Clark stared at Lex with shock written all over his face.

"How did you know I…?" Lex looked up from his wounded hand, into Clark's disgruntled eyes. He sighed heavily, as he wrapped his hand tightly in the towel.

"I've known your secret for years Clark, and I've always protected it as if it were my own. So don't worry, if this was your fantastical way of trying to reveal the truth to me, you don't have to." A long silence preceded Lex's confession. He waited to see what Clark's reaction would be, but the boy only stood there with a dumbfounded look on his face. He watched as Clark's eyes went from confused shock to total anger.

"You mean to tell me, that you've known about me all this time, and you never told me ?!" Clark moved closer to Lex with a menacing stance.

"I didn't want you to worry Clark. I thought you didn't trust me, so I figured if I told you I knew the truth, you would just regard me as more of an enemy. I couldn't live with that." Lex turned his back on Clark, as he walked over to the bottle on the floor and picked it up. Clark watched with a faraway look in his eyes, as Lex poured the alcohol onto his gash. He let out a blood curdling scream that snapped Clark out of his revere, and sent him running towards Lex, who had fallen to the ground from the pain.

"Are you Crazy?!" Clark grabbed the towel from Lex and tried to soak up the alcohol that had landed in the wound.

"It sterilizes the wound. I'm not about to take a trip to the hospital for such an insignificant little cut." Lex spoke through gritted teeth, as Clark cleaned out the wound of any glass it had left. He shook his head at Lex, as he wrapped up the cut once again.

"Lex, do you realize how many fights, how many arguments we could have avoided; if you just told me you knew the truth?" Clark sat on the ground, with his elbows on his knees.

"Does it matter Clark? Either way, our friendship would have ended anyway. You refused to be honest with me, and I refused to let it slide." Clark looked down at the ground. He seemed to think hard for a moment, then looked over at Lex who was now sitting across from him, nursing his hand.

"Lex, I don't want this anymore. I want to stop playing the blame game. We both did a lot of things wrong, but now the truth has come out…I want to start over." Lex shook his head in protest, but was startled by Clark suddenly moving right next to him and placing his hand in Lex's good one. "Please don't say no. I know you, I know you want to do this…I love you Lex; I want you to love me too." Lex looked up at Clark with tears glistening in his eyes. The look Clark was giving him was making it harder and harder for him to say no. he tried to turn away and close his eyes, but Clark grasped his face in his hands and pulled them closer together. Their lips were mere inches away, causing Lex to shutter at the closeness. "I won't take no for an answer." They were forceful words, but they came out so caring and loving, Lex didn't care. He moved those few extra inches until finally their lips were interlocked. Clark held Lex's face in his hands, while Lex grasped the front of his shirt with his good hand, trying to pull him as close as possible. The heat between them was almost at scorching levels, but then Clark gently pulled away from the kiss, causing Lex to whimper slightly. He smiled at his longing noises, then placed a small kiss on the corner of Lex's mouth. "What do you say Lex? Will you give this one more shot?" Lex looked at Clark with want and need written all over his features. He couldn't help, but smile at the gorgeous angelic man sitting so close to him. He reached out and stroked Clark's cheek, marveling at the softness of his skin.

"I don't think you really gave me a choice." Both men smiled, then pulled each other into a passion filled lip lock. They rolled around on the ground, until finally Lex was the one who landed on top. He grinned down at Clark, and became lost in his eyes. "I love you Clark." Clark smiled up at him, then pulled him down to meet him in another kiss.

THE END

**YAY! I finished! Please REVIEW! Good or bad, they are always appreciated! **


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